Blind Film Critic Tommy Edison reviews “Water For Elephants”
Blind Film Critic Tommy Edison reviews “Water For Elephants”. A veterinary student abandons his studies after his parents are killed and joins a traveling circus as their vet. Starring Reese Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson, and Christoph Waltz
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I didn’t think Robert Pattinson was all that much to look at. I gotta be honest with you. I don’t know what all the kids see in him, but okay.
Wait, they have voice over in this movie? When? I just figured somebody was doing a soliloquy like in Shakespeare. You stand there and rattle off a few lines and do your Shakespeare thing and then things start to happen again. They don’t do that in movies? They do in my movies. Ha ha.
I thought the character development was great. You really got attached to the characters in this one. You understood the love story going on between these two. A little bit of a chick-flick. Reese Witherspoon was a lot of fun, but she seemed a little too refined for spending her whole life in the circus. I mean, you figure, she probably in her mid-20’s now. She’s gotta have some circus on her, but she’s this very classy woman. Hey, you know what might have been fun? If instead of Reese Witherspoon’s voice they replaced it with Joy Behar. That would have made her sexy!
I’ll tell you, they talk about Robert Pattinson being such a big star. Whoever they got to play Rosie the elephant was unbelievable! Man I really was convinced that was an elephant. I swear to God. They had me. You know, that elephant worked for peanuts. Ha ha.
I mean that Robert Pattinson… he was kind of monotone through this movie. There wasn’t a lot of emotion. He wasn’t really up like this and freaking out and he wasn’t really down like this, but the whole time he about right here.
Christoph Waltz was terrific as August. His emotion was fantastic. This guy could snap at any moment. You don’t know what this guy is gonna do.
In part of the movie, I guess what’s happening here is the elephant is doing some tricks and their cheering and the circus is going on and the elephant is doing its thing. Nice for you sighted people to look at, but really it adds nothing to the story. What the tricks are, I don’t know. Probably did a couple of card tricks. Ha ha. So, for Water for Elephants, I’m gonna give it 3 out of 4 eyes open.
Hey, you know what time it is when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to buy a new fence, of course! Ha ha.